Through authors research she was able to replace the shame, ignorance, and confusion that surrounded my heritage with pride, knowledge, and understanding.
2 concepts helpful in this process: 1. telling of one’s story as a way of restorying the past and constructing a coherent narrative. 2. concept of “societal projection process” – an expansion of his concept of the family projection process to the level of society. The dominant group in society may stabilize itself, relieving tension and anxiety for itself through the presence of a victim group, which it views as weak and less competent.
1. nonexistence of African Americans in larger society
2. nullification of the black male. father was always omitted during and after slavery.
3. vulnerability of slaves to dev. of a fused identity of enslavement process, and poor self-differentiation.
4. vulnerability of African Americans to emotional cutoff due to their inability to claim the White part of their lineage and the absence of the White fathers.
5. Vulnerability of African Americans to the negative stereotypes of their masters, developing a negative identity by internalizing, or passive aggression, or oppositional behavior.
6. Vulnerability to responding to the pain of oppression by sealing off the pain, not talking about it, not asking, not trying to understand it.
7. The tendency for a behavior I have labeled “not knowing” to become one’s essential learning style.
What to do to find freedom from racist ideology
1. Find a sense of continuity for a grater sense of clarity and confidence about who I am and where I came from.
2. Label complexities, contradictions, and gaps for the family and to reveal secrets to have a reversed sense of disconnectedness, ignorance, and not knowing.
3. Identify mythes, misconceptions, and distortions that have reinforced both my own and others’ “stuckness” in the family process to get out of paradoxical positions.
4. Undo the emotional cutoff form my extended family that was the result of poverty, racism, and shame.
ch 10 The Discovery of my Multicultural Identity
autobiography of authors life of growing up in a foster home.
Ch 12 Voluntary Childlessness and Motherhood
Cultural and societal messages told me that I could not depend on a Black man and that single Black mother-headed families were pathological. Family shame about out of wedlock children and family beliefs that children keep women from succeeding and trapped in bad marriages frightened me.
Author choosing not to have children out of stigma of how it will define her and her child.
The loss of marriage and/or the compounded loss of marriage and motherhood for Black women are ignored, reframed, minimized, and pathologized.
The experience of childlessness is often on about which women are silenced.
Internalizing childlessness, some may react to perceived resentment of their unworthy freedom by overemphasizing male qualities of achievement and autonomy.